Venting (Warning: anger below)
My sister-in-law is not my favourite cup of tea. So sharing the house with her does not make things any more rosy. She's the sort of girl you just want to slap, shake, and slap again, in what would be a futile attempt at getting through to her. Bit of background:
She's been married to this dunce (very mild term for what he is) for going on 12 years now. This guy seduced her when she was in boarding school, just 21 years old, and got her pregnant. They got married when she was 7 months pregnant, and have been ever since. On paper anyway. He wasn't there for the birth of his son, and he isn't there now - seems prince charming couldn't deal with the fact that:
a) he could not walk in from the street and get a job in top management
b) that the weather in this country is not always fantastic
c) tonnes more - suffice it to say he's not a fighter...
So what did he do? After being married for 4 years, he decided to move to another country - on his own. Get a job he liked, where the weather pleased him. And when his wife then fell very ill, and was litterally receiving her last oil, did the prince fly home to be at her side? Don't think so. He stayed put, enjoying his party life-style.
But that's not what pisses me off. What gets my goat, is that she stays married to him! 8 years they've lived in separate countries, her flying down with their son 4 times a year, so he can see his "Dad". She is completely infatuated with him - and not in a good way. Obsesively. Whenever he's around, she will stress and fret and moan and INSIST that she MUST be there the SECOND he comes off work. He works the evening/night shift at a restaurant, and as a result, is rarely seen before 5pm. Ever. Even on the rare occasions when he comes up here to visit. He will also stay up til 5-6-7am, at which point he goes to bed, and sleeps some more.
So you tell me: what the hell kind of husband/father is this? Is he the kind of Dad who - when he was looking for a new appartment in the country where he works - prioritized gettin a place in a "nice" neighbourhood, so that his wife and son could come visit with relative peace of mind? Or did he choose to get a place in the sleazy part of town, because that way he could be close to work and all the action? Take a wild, swinging stab at that one.
And it's not like economy is a factor: "our" father in law (he says he has one son-in-law (me) and "the husband of my daughter") offered him a very, very nice pad down there, so that his grandchild and daughter would be safe? Refused it. Flat. And it's not pride: dad-in-law bought this guy a café - an entire café! - after the wedding, to run as he saw fit. So that he could be his own boss, and have a job he liked. Seems he liked having his own café - just didn't like the responsibility? He decided to go on summer holidays for 8 weeks. In the middle of the peak season. Dad-in-law told him "Fine. Go. But when you come back, your keys to the café will not work." The schmuck laughed and shrugged it off - but did not laugh when he came back, and dad-in-law had held his word...
Why does she stay with him you ask? Beats me. It must be infatuation - plain and simple? He's got some kind of hold on her (hypnosis?), so that whenever she's with him, she goes all soft in the knees and lovey-dovey. At one point last year, she actually brought the divorce-papers with her when they flew down to see him - but once she saw him, they slipped into the background, never to emerge again. The shrink says she's "beyond therapeutical range", and says that the only way to "cure" her is through psychiatric means. But that necessitates that she admits to herself that she's sick, and that she needs help. And of course, she can't see anything wrong with her? She's 1.73 and weighs maybe 42kg...not really a rolemodel of health there? Her eyes have sunk into the sockets, and she applies make-up that makes her look even spookier.
Sometimes, I wish she would just go away. This should be our house - my wife, the baby and me. This was the deal when the sisters bought the house way back when. However, it was only an oral agreement, and apparently, the b*tch doesn't remember it now. Makes me so mad I could scream. Sometimes I punch the walls, just to let off some steam. I don't need this big house. I don't need the sea view. All I need is somewhere to raise my family without that psychotic bitch and her "sometime" stupid schmuck husband living upstairs. But of course, I don't want to give her the satisfaction of having ousted us from what is rightfully ours. Although I would give it up in a heartbeat if my wife said she would too. She's not fond of living in an apartment with a baby, where I don't mind so much. I just want to be us - my family - and not us and this anorexic, infatuated, delussional wench and her spawn.
Every day, I pray for her husband to get hit by a bus / car / fall off a cliff / crash in a plane / get washed away by a tsunami, so that she will get her wakeup-call, and the spell hopefully be broken. But no luck yet.
Does this make me a bad person?
She's been married to this dunce (very mild term for what he is) for going on 12 years now. This guy seduced her when she was in boarding school, just 21 years old, and got her pregnant. They got married when she was 7 months pregnant, and have been ever since. On paper anyway. He wasn't there for the birth of his son, and he isn't there now - seems prince charming couldn't deal with the fact that:
a) he could not walk in from the street and get a job in top management
b) that the weather in this country is not always fantastic
c) tonnes more - suffice it to say he's not a fighter...
So what did he do? After being married for 4 years, he decided to move to another country - on his own. Get a job he liked, where the weather pleased him. And when his wife then fell very ill, and was litterally receiving her last oil, did the prince fly home to be at her side? Don't think so. He stayed put, enjoying his party life-style.
But that's not what pisses me off. What gets my goat, is that she stays married to him! 8 years they've lived in separate countries, her flying down with their son 4 times a year, so he can see his "Dad". She is completely infatuated with him - and not in a good way. Obsesively. Whenever he's around, she will stress and fret and moan and INSIST that she MUST be there the SECOND he comes off work. He works the evening/night shift at a restaurant, and as a result, is rarely seen before 5pm. Ever. Even on the rare occasions when he comes up here to visit. He will also stay up til 5-6-7am, at which point he goes to bed, and sleeps some more.
So you tell me: what the hell kind of husband/father is this? Is he the kind of Dad who - when he was looking for a new appartment in the country where he works - prioritized gettin a place in a "nice" neighbourhood, so that his wife and son could come visit with relative peace of mind? Or did he choose to get a place in the sleazy part of town, because that way he could be close to work and all the action? Take a wild, swinging stab at that one.
And it's not like economy is a factor: "our" father in law (he says he has one son-in-law (me) and "the husband of my daughter") offered him a very, very nice pad down there, so that his grandchild and daughter would be safe? Refused it. Flat. And it's not pride: dad-in-law bought this guy a café - an entire café! - after the wedding, to run as he saw fit. So that he could be his own boss, and have a job he liked. Seems he liked having his own café - just didn't like the responsibility? He decided to go on summer holidays for 8 weeks. In the middle of the peak season. Dad-in-law told him "Fine. Go. But when you come back, your keys to the café will not work." The schmuck laughed and shrugged it off - but did not laugh when he came back, and dad-in-law had held his word...
Why does she stay with him you ask? Beats me. It must be infatuation - plain and simple? He's got some kind of hold on her (hypnosis?), so that whenever she's with him, she goes all soft in the knees and lovey-dovey. At one point last year, she actually brought the divorce-papers with her when they flew down to see him - but once she saw him, they slipped into the background, never to emerge again. The shrink says she's "beyond therapeutical range", and says that the only way to "cure" her is through psychiatric means. But that necessitates that she admits to herself that she's sick, and that she needs help. And of course, she can't see anything wrong with her? She's 1.73 and weighs maybe 42kg...not really a rolemodel of health there? Her eyes have sunk into the sockets, and she applies make-up that makes her look even spookier.
Sometimes, I wish she would just go away. This should be our house - my wife, the baby and me. This was the deal when the sisters bought the house way back when. However, it was only an oral agreement, and apparently, the b*tch doesn't remember it now. Makes me so mad I could scream. Sometimes I punch the walls, just to let off some steam. I don't need this big house. I don't need the sea view. All I need is somewhere to raise my family without that psychotic bitch and her "sometime" stupid schmuck husband living upstairs. But of course, I don't want to give her the satisfaction of having ousted us from what is rightfully ours. Although I would give it up in a heartbeat if my wife said she would too. She's not fond of living in an apartment with a baby, where I don't mind so much. I just want to be us - my family - and not us and this anorexic, infatuated, delussional wench and her spawn.
Every day, I pray for her husband to get hit by a bus / car / fall off a cliff / crash in a plane / get washed away by a tsunami, so that she will get her wakeup-call, and the spell hopefully be broken. But no luck yet.
Does this make me a bad person?
posted by Atrejù at 18:18
2 Comments:
*HUG* Sorry to hear about your Sis-in-law. People that repeadedly submit themselves to abuse are MADDENING.
Beth, you have no idea... I don't understand how the family's coped with it for over 12 years? I guess blood is also stronger than water...even if the cracks are starting to show... :-/
Post a Comment
<< Home