Fallout day
Major fallout with the girl today. Over her side of the family. Or: fallout is probably not the right word. We had a somber, sober discussion about her sister and her sister's husband, and what I think her family should do to them. The spark was dinner tonight: her parents have invited me and the girl + the girl's sister along with hubby and kid for dinner tonight at their place...and I just couldn't do it. So I played the thesis-card, and said that I would not attend, as I was too busy with the thesis, but that they should go ahead and have a good time without me.
Seriously: an entire evening of sitting around the crystal glasses and silver cutlery, all fake smiles and fake pleasantry, and so many items on that table that could be used to stab the guy in the nose. I just couldn't do it? As a diplomat-kid, with The Stepfather from hell, I've played my share of stiff upper lip - and my limit was reached today. I can't stand the (disfunctional) "family" currently living upstairs, and I want nothing to do with them.
The girl asked me what this means, and if this is going to be my standpoint from now on? I said it meant that I would do any and every thing in my power to avoid spending time with the fuckers, and that yes: this is my standpoint. She asked if this meant that she could no longer attend her family's birthdays, weddings, baptisms, Christmas, etc? I said she was free to - but that I would not attend. As long as this guy is there, I wan't no part of it. It becomes so...fake? And I need real right now, in the worst possible way.
She then asked if I couldn't see that what I was really doing was punishing her parents, and not the people I really want to mess with? The jury's still out on that one. Her parent's, in my humble opinion, are punishing themselves: they should have cut any ties to the wench long ago, and left them to sail their own destiny. Would have been healthier for everyones mental state? But they're afraid to cut her off now, because she's so fucking weak! And she really is - she's so frail she might as well be made of glass? And this is going to sound heartless, but guess what?
I don't give a shit.
I'm about to become a father. Yeah - someone is going to call me Dad shortly, and that is my primary focus. Any and every thing that distracts me from that, or who takes away from what mental stamina I have, will not fit in my life. Simple as that. I have a "protector-gene" the size of Asia, and with Daddy-dom fast approaching, it's starting to throw its weight around... This means no more lies, no more bullshit, and no more Mr Nice Guy.
Yes: I realize this sounds like I'm on some righteous crusade, out for vengeance. But I'm not. I'm just not about to sit idly by and watch this family become FUBAR. Well, more than they already are anyway? And as far as my absenteeism from tonights dinner party: I just know my mother-in-law is insanely jealous of me right now. She can't stand the guy, and if her husband would let her, she would forbid him entry into her home! And I can totally understand her. But while she's to weak to fight her husband on the issue, I'm willing to take them all on: I'm looking out for number one - me - and it's a good thing too, 'cause it doesn't seem like anyone else is? Well - not on this subject anyway?
Damn.
Since when did I become such a bitter, old guy? Maybe I'm just projecting my stepdad-hatred onto the closest, most threatening father-figure available? But I just can't help it - he's just so...unlikeable? But in all honesty, it's his wife I can't stand. SO until I find a way to bug them as much as they're bugging me, I'm goint to abstain from their company.
Dixi.
Seriously: an entire evening of sitting around the crystal glasses and silver cutlery, all fake smiles and fake pleasantry, and so many items on that table that could be used to stab the guy in the nose. I just couldn't do it? As a diplomat-kid, with The Stepfather from hell, I've played my share of stiff upper lip - and my limit was reached today. I can't stand the (disfunctional) "family" currently living upstairs, and I want nothing to do with them.
The girl asked me what this means, and if this is going to be my standpoint from now on? I said it meant that I would do any and every thing in my power to avoid spending time with the fuckers, and that yes: this is my standpoint. She asked if this meant that she could no longer attend her family's birthdays, weddings, baptisms, Christmas, etc? I said she was free to - but that I would not attend. As long as this guy is there, I wan't no part of it. It becomes so...fake? And I need real right now, in the worst possible way.
She then asked if I couldn't see that what I was really doing was punishing her parents, and not the people I really want to mess with? The jury's still out on that one. Her parent's, in my humble opinion, are punishing themselves: they should have cut any ties to the wench long ago, and left them to sail their own destiny. Would have been healthier for everyones mental state? But they're afraid to cut her off now, because she's so fucking weak! And she really is - she's so frail she might as well be made of glass? And this is going to sound heartless, but guess what?
I don't give a shit.
I'm about to become a father. Yeah - someone is going to call me Dad shortly, and that is my primary focus. Any and every thing that distracts me from that, or who takes away from what mental stamina I have, will not fit in my life. Simple as that. I have a "protector-gene" the size of Asia, and with Daddy-dom fast approaching, it's starting to throw its weight around... This means no more lies, no more bullshit, and no more Mr Nice Guy.
Yes: I realize this sounds like I'm on some righteous crusade, out for vengeance. But I'm not. I'm just not about to sit idly by and watch this family become FUBAR. Well, more than they already are anyway? And as far as my absenteeism from tonights dinner party: I just know my mother-in-law is insanely jealous of me right now. She can't stand the guy, and if her husband would let her, she would forbid him entry into her home! And I can totally understand her. But while she's to weak to fight her husband on the issue, I'm willing to take them all on: I'm looking out for number one - me - and it's a good thing too, 'cause it doesn't seem like anyone else is? Well - not on this subject anyway?
Damn.
Since when did I become such a bitter, old guy? Maybe I'm just projecting my stepdad-hatred onto the closest, most threatening father-figure available? But I just can't help it - he's just so...unlikeable? But in all honesty, it's his wife I can't stand. SO until I find a way to bug them as much as they're bugging me, I'm goint to abstain from their company.
Dixi.
posted by Atrejù at 18:32
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